Oxfamming

Binyavanga Wainaina writes:

"Would you like an Oxfam biscuit? Can we fly 103 of you to France to be loved? We can breastfeed you. We can save you from yourself. We can save ourselves from our terrible selves. Help us to Oxfam the whole black world, to make it a better place. We will shut all your industries and build our organic Jeffery Sachs-designed school inside your national parks, where you can commune with nature, grow ecologically friendly crops, trade fairly with eco-tourists and receive visitors from the United Nations every month who will clap when you dance. Instead of sweatshops, we will have Ubuntu shops where you can arrive in biodegradable loincloths to make bone jewellery for caring people who earn $1million a year, live in San Francisco or Cape Town and feel bad about this. In our future world you will have three balanced meals a day. Trust us. You can’t do it yourselves. We have dedicated our lives to you. Come kitties, come to mummy".