Today's State of the Union address will be another trip down bizzaro lane, led by President Hope-and-Change, and I know from past experience that I'll spend most of the SOTU yelling at the TV, and so might most of you. If you don't want to do that and you want to make it fun and understand it, I suggest you adopt the following tactic, which I call "Live in Bizarro World."
To apply this tactic, take all of Obama's longer 'two-part' sentences and divide them in half, and then pick the half that is true and discard the half that is not true. For example, when he talks about making America safer by sitting down and talking unconditionally to hostile regimes, disregard the 'making America safer' part and just pay attention to the 'sitting down' part. Or if he says that we'll have better energy security by not drilling for oil, just skip past the set-up and go straight to the 'not drilling part'.
You have to remember, in Obama's world, up is down and down is up, and because in Bizarro World everything is backwards, it is important for you to understand his meaning by ignoring the half of his speech that is unreality and instead picking up the the reality. He does not mean that we will lower our deficit by cutting spending and making more investments in our future- he means that we'll spend more money. If Obama says that we need to improve the spirit of bipartisanship by having Republicans cross over and support him on various schemes, he is simply demanding that Republicans roll over and go with him. His words do not mean what they mean- they are simply pleasing sounds strung together in a row in ways that other people might believe in, but they do contain in them parts of the reality of Obama's world and a glimpse of the bizarro world that he is from originally (his birth certificate may say Earth, but I still want to see the long form version to verify it doesn't say Bizarro World).
So, in summary, take half of everything that he says as truth, and the other half as wrong- usually it is the set-up or conclusion that is wrong and the action part that is the reality, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. Once you know that half of everything he says is wrong, since knowing is half the battle, you'll be a quarter of the way towards being completely sane while watching this SOTU.
UPDATE: Tactic Two, for those who emailed me about it, is a secret tactic called "Pulling a Rabbit Out of a Hat". I can't go in depth with this tactic, but basically the idea behind it is to not think to hard about how a rabbit can come out of an empty hat. I mean, the hat is empty and I'll show you that it's empty, but yet, if I put my hand in it, I can pull out a cute little rabbit. It's magic. Just go with it.
This tactic should keep you sane when Obama talks about cutting the debt and deficit by increasing spending. Oh, I know his logic- that by raising spending, more jobs will be created, causing more taxes to be paid, causing the deficit to shrink- but I reject that logic on the basis of all known data. But since using known data and logic will just make me pissed off during this thing, I think it's better for us all to simply look at the little birdy in the margins of this screen- right now, take a look at the left edge of this screen- do you see the little birdy... now 'poof', the deficit has gone down! Applaud.
It is blindingly obvious that spending does not equal stimulus, and increasing federal spending will not create jobs. There are two possibilities here. One is that Obama is one of the last people in America who have not figured this out. The other is that Obama knows his proposals are dumb, from an economic standpoint, but doesn't care. The one thing that more government spending will accomplish is to slide more money to Barack Obama's cronies and to various constituencies of the Democratic Party. Maybe that is all Obama ever wanted.
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