Six Non-Lethal Weapons That Will Stop Rioters From Coming to America

Via Ace of Spades, this is some pretty cool stuff:

Well, with the riots that just occured in England and the media starting to breathlessly talk about it coming our way, have you given it any thought as to what you might want to have on hand if and when those numbnuts show up on your doorstep? Well, here's 6 Non-Lethal Weapons That Will Make You Wish You Were Dead (see the full post for more details and pictures of the weapons; these are just excerpts):

#6. The PHASR (aka Crowd-Blinding Rifle)... This futuristic weapon is being developed by the US military, who call it the Personal Halting and Stimulation Response rifle. Why such a clumsy name? Because they wanted to call it a PHASR. Get it! Like in Star Trek! How cute!...

#5. The Active Denial System (aka Massive Pain Ray)... The Active Denial System (ADS) is a giant heat ray (or pain ray as it's informally and less ambiguously known). The weapon fires electromagnetic radiation at the target causing a painful burning sensation... the military will have a lot of explaining to do when the ADS crosses streams with a PHASR up there and sends the victim into another dimension...

#4. The Laser Induced Plasma Channel (aka Invisible Pain Fence)... The Laser Induced Plasma Channel, or Portal Denial System, is the kind of electric barrier/force field we've seen in sci-fi for decades. So, it can be set up in a corridor to allow only authorized people to pass through it. Should unauthorized people pass through it, well, let's just say they'll have an electrifying experience. They might get quite a shock. They will suffer severe electric burns....

#3. Taser XREP (aka Electrified Shotgun Shells)... The problem with a Taser is that you've got to be pretty close to make it work, about 20 feet or so. A number of companies are racing to fix that problem, developing non-lethal bullets that can hit you with rib-shattering force from a distance, and then deliver an electric shock just to rub it in. Because you can never be to careful when it comes to hippies and protesters....

#2. The Pulsed Energy Projectile (aka Magic Missile)... The Pulsed Energy Projectile (PEP) used to be called the Pulsed Impulsive Kill Laser, before they toned it down for PR reasons (and because the acronym is basically "pickle"). It's mounted on a truck, plane or helicopter and fires an invisible laser pulse at a target. On impact the pulse creates exploding plasma, which is exactly as painful as it sounds....

#1. The Vortex Ring Gun (aka The Fart Gun)... The vortex ring gun works by creating a cone-shaped pocket of supersonic pressurized air. When this hits the target (Read: hippie) it should knock him over. Wait, that's not the best part. A chemical, like an incapacitating agent or a malodorant (a bad, choking smell) is also injected into the air pocket. So it's basically a powerful, bad smelling wind that will knock you of your feet...

Let's see these anarchists and hippies riot and destroy public property and threaten the lives of law-abiding citizens when they face Fat Guns, Magic Missiles, and Massive Pain Rays. As long as these types of weapons are available for responsible card-carrying NRA members too, there is no way the US will ever be like England.