Breaking: British Crown Shocked by Appalling Behavior of Tea Party Patriots

March 21, 1776. The liberal media is apparently outraged that patriots and tea party activists are upset that their liberty, life, and property is being voted away today. Many of the King Obama's supporters are shocked by the unruly behavior of these so-called patriots, who are waving American flags and screaming about law while they apparently should be cheering the massive expansion of welfare and government power that is the Obama Healthcontrol Bill.

A senior editor in the New Republic describes what just transpired here inside the House of Representatives. Moments ago, while members of the Kings faction were on the floor for a vote to put in place the Intolerable Acts, a protester stood up in the visitor's gallery and began shouting "Liberty! Freedom! Life! Property!" Armed thugs quickly removed the man, but while they were doing so, several of those patriotic Republicans actually cheered on the man. This was shocking to the editor of New Republic, who couldn't understand why anyone would believe in the unalienable rights of man, and also was surprising to Representative Barney Frank, who yesterday made up the fact that he was was the target of homophobic epithets (like teabagger), who was "appalled" and that he felt George Washington and James Madision "were encouraging him to resist. ... It's a dangerous situation and the Republicans are cheering him on."

Some Democrats, liberals, and Loyalists even seem a little scared that the continual erosion of liberties and freedom and the increasing taxes and regulations and fees might even spark a revolution. They accuse these patriots of being divisive, feeling that people should just roll over when faced by a determined tyrant.

As the senior editor of this newspaper reported, the scene was more farcical than scary--like a scene out of some movie starring Madonna and not a real attempt by real people to keep their god-given rights to life, liberty, and freedom. But there was still just a little bit of something unsettling to it, even to him- it was almost as if people really believed in the Declaration of Independence or something.

The Republic is dead, Democrats remark- the King by a stroke of the pen can now make laws in our nation (such as the deal made with Congressman Stupid)- and people now face a choice- either be part of the tyranny of the majority, or fade away.