Farewell Speech Drinking Game

This is the first week of the legislature's lame-duck session, and former State Representative Leon Drolet from the MI Taxpayers Alliance took the time to invent this fun drinking game based on the lame-duck "farewell" speeches delivered by outgoing lawmakers who are completing their final term in office. This game is focused on Michigan legislators, but it could easily be a game you play with elected officials at any level of government:

Wanna play the politician "farewell speech" drinking game? Tune in to Michigan Government TV and watch the speeches. Here's how it goes:

1. The outgoing lawmaker opens his/her speech with reverent, almost religious, statements about how great the institution of the legislature is. They always use words like, "honorable", "cherished", "esteemed" and such. Everyone do a shot.

2. Next, each politician absolutely MUST, without fail, go on to disparage the citizen-imposed constitutional term-limit amendment. Nothing is more important and popular among House chamber members than this. Do another shot.

3. The speechmaker laments the demise of the great statesmen from the halcyon, pre-term limit days of Camelot. In those glorious days, politicians confined themselves to selfless public service resulting in brilliant leadership responsible for everything good in prosperous Michigan's past. The longer these noble statesmen of old held and consolidated political power, the more selfless and brilliant their leadership became. Of course, those meddling citizens with their damn term limits law ruined everything! Do shot.

4. Now, the politician must ALWAYS thank some fellow House member from the opposing party whom hey worked with to create some new law or regulation. This is a warm, fuzzy way of nobly appearing "above the fray" and creating an overall "team spirit" within the political class. Another shot.

5. Finally, a bonus shot if the outgoing House member breaks down and cries, and is surrounded and hugged by colleagues. Like someone died.

Still standing? You'll need the booze in order to withstand the jaw-dropping detachment from reality on display in the House chamber.

The "sucky speech" syndrome is symptomatic of a disease that infects the ego, creating a false sense of self-importance that strikes both Democrats and Republicans. Democrats are expected to worship big government, central planning and politicians as saints. Infected Republicans forget that they're elected to restrain government, so that everyday citizens can lead Michigan forward - each in their own individual, productive ways. They forget that government's primary responsibility is to serve by protecting the liberty of citizens - not to "lead" them with new programs and such.

Conservatives, libertarians and other supporters of constitutionally limited government can help future politicians avoid the sucky speech syndrome by doing our part to keep the political process in its' proper context. We should not deify the institutions of government. We should not teach young people that elective office is some noble calling. America's founders, the real statesmen from our past, understood that government was like fire; something to fear and handle with extreme caution.

As a conservative teacher, I agree with the idea that I should not be teaching students that elected office is some noble calling, but on the other hand, I don't want to continually run down public officials either. The analogy of fire is a good one- fire is not to be feared or run from (unless you're some new super-progressive environmental nut), but can burn you if you're not careful- and government is similar to that- public officials are to be respected and understand, but not deified and idolized. That's a tough balance to strike, and is always a challenge for me in the classroom.